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I hate having to ask my kids to do something multiple times. Especially if it gets to the point where I'm yelling! So we're going to try these steps to get our kids to behave.
· Kids are not multi-taskers. Instead of competing for his attention, ask your child to stop playing for a minute, and get down to his level so you can look him in the eye. Say his name, make your request, ask if he understands, and get him to repeat it back to you.
· When you want something to happen, be direct and specific. Kids need concrete info, so instead of a vague "Get ready for school," which leaves too much room for her to dawdle, give direct instructions: "It's time to put on your coat and your backpack." Getting specific works well in other situations too.
· Since kids love to play, turning good behavior into a game makes it more likely they'll follow direction.
· One sure way to lead her to a positive habit is with praise. When she's behaving well, first act sincerely excited ("Wow!"). Next, specify exactly what you're loving ("You were mad, but you used your words instead of hitting"). Finally, add something physical (a hug, a high five). Give your child props even for small successes.
· Instead of giving repeated warnings and reminders, give one ("You have ten more minutes to play, then it's time to go to bed") and ignore any arguments after that.
· Sick of saying "Be nice to your brother?" Show it instead. Make a heart out of construction paper, suggests Kirk Martin, a behavioral consultant. Every time your daughter treats her sib badly, hand her the paper heart, then walk away. "No lecture, no yelling, just a visual that will tell the story," says Martin. Another, all-purpose option: a discreet thumbs-up or thumbs-down, or a zip-it motion across your lips.
· When your child refuses to wear a hat or mittens on a cold and windy day, then complains that he's cold, you can simply point out how those items could have helped (then produce the ones that you secretly stashed in your bag).
· Kids like to feel in control -- so capitalize on this desire. Instead of asking a question like "Can you pick up your toys please?" give your child a choice, such as "Please pick up two of your toys or that box next to your bed," which defuses the "no" bomb before it has a chance to ignite.
· When your kid hears you use words like don't and stop, it triggers an almost Pavlonian response so he tunes out so pose requests in an encouraging tone. Instead of "don't pull the dog's tail," try "pet Molly gently." And when you really need your kid's attention? Whisper. Nothing is more riveting than a secret.
(Parents)