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Losing a job, mourning a pet, trying to get pregnant, persevering through sickness, grieving a loved one—it’s all part of life’s journey. And showing up for someone you care about when they’re having a hard time can be one of those pivotal moments in a relationship, whether it be for a friend, neighbor, family member, or partner.
I’m sure you’ve been in that situation and told your friend, neighbor, etc, “Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Maybe because you don’t know what to do to help, or maybe you don’t want to intrude. I never do. Unfortunately, it’s really not enough. People in those moments don’t know what they need or may find it hard to make decisions. So here are some ideas to help:
· Send a Care Package. You can create your own, or send one already made through different websites.
· Write Them a Note. Don’t let worry over saying the wrong thing stop you from saying anything at all. For those going through a hard time, acknowledgement equals care.
· Give Them Options. Since most people don’t have the mental energy to come up with a list of their needs, offer specific ways to help and give them choices. For example, you could text, “I’m headed to the grocery store. Would your family like the chicken Alfredo, ravioli lasagna, or the street tacos? I’ll leave it on your porch at 12 p.m.”
· Check In. An “I’m thinking of you today” or “this made me think of you” is so appreciated. It’s especially important in the weeks, months, and yearly anniversaries after a tough time.
· Invite and Include (Without Expectation). Always offer the invitation, but leave any expectations of them showing up behind. Eventually, joy will return to their lives. Instead, stay alongside them and include them as you always would, and you’ll be there when the joy comes back.